I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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