PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Quick, to the slutcave!
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
