Don't make out with my wife yet
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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