i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
