so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
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