I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
