she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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