Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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