dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
