On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
