I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
