There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
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