discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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