turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
