Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
