I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize