I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
