I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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