I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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