so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
My ATM looks so different sober.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
