it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize