I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Randomize
