She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
