$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
