you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
