She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
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