I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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