That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
