went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
