Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
