You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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