It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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