So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
