Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
