This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize