Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Randomize
