She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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