Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
