garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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