oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
