four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
