one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Randomize
