i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
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