I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
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