adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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