all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
