Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
