when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
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