If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
You can't just leave with hair like that
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize