it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Randomize
