Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
