So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
did you just send me my own nude
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize