I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
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