4 words: hood of his car
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize