she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
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