he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Randomize
