He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize