and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
