bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
