I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
