Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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