My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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