Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
