I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
The police scanner is talking about you again....
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
