i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
