Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
