sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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