Non-Jews are for practice
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
