I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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