This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Randomize
