yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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