I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
