He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Randomize
