Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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