So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
