if you like me you must not know who I am
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize