So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
