Who wears a wallet chain?!
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
