If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I believe in your delicious
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
