Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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